As a dating and relationship coach I get to hear a lot of stories! I wanted to share the love letter a young man wrote about his ex-girlfriend that he wanted to share in hopes that she might read this one day.
"A Man’s Heart wrenching Final Letter to the Woman he loves!"
I’m not a writer! I was never a good writer; I was the guy that got a C in ENC1101. I don’t work for a literary site that dishes out daily articles to provide an escape from the monotony of our daily lives. I am just an ordinary guy who lost the most important thing in his life.
But you know what!? Maybe, I can swallow that pill if I can make a difference. So I guess I’m a messenger of some sorts; like Kanye to be the Voice of a Generation, A Pusher! (Mean Girls style).
Hi my name is Danny and I love women
I wasn’t always good with women, I was the guy who bought girls flowers even before we kissed; Naturally, I got hurt …a lot back in high school. The first crush I ever had Myspace messaged my brother and said she wanted him...MY BROTHER!? I learnt real quick what attracted women. In college, I grew my wings and I dated a lot. By the start of senior year, I was texting 5 girls at the same time and going on multiple dates a week. But I never opened up to any girl. I don’t know why, maybe I figured it was easier to just care less; nobody got hurt that way. There was always a type of girl I was looking for but I hadn’t found her yet. My longest relationship up until then had been a month and that was in high school. They were uncharted territory
Little did I know, my life was about to change forever.
You see, the first day I met “Ariel” my life undeniably and irrevocably changed. There I was, 21 years old in my last year of college at the University gym getting my usual daily pump on. Thus far, it had been a great week, I had already gone on at least two dates and my overconfident ass was reeking of “swag”. Then I see her for the first time, her long blonde hair caught my eye; she was wearing a tight pink shirt that showed off her feminine curves and the cutest freckles that complimented those gorgeous green eyes. She wore tight spanks that showed off that ass that told you; you know she squats, with muscular legs, and a sort of natural beauty that you couldn’t help but notice. She wasn’t your stereotypical idea of sexy but she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on.
Turns out she was a cheerleader… Hell Yeah!!
She was over in the free weight section (the pump iron playground) by the squat racks, but she wasn’t squatting; No! Today, deadlifts were her game. I had to talk to her. I approached and in a confident spew of narcissistic jargon, I get her attention. I leave her with my number; because at the time, it didn’t matter if she texted or not. I had options….but am I so happy that she did.
A couple days go by since the gym, and I’m on a business trip completely wasted at a sports bar in Tampa, Florida when the first text comes in, “hey what’s up” from a random number. I drunkenly ask who it is. Moments later she replies kindly, “it’s Ariel”. Now there was a girl that I knew before with the same name so for the first few text exchanges I assumed it was the other girl who I had not spoken to in a while. Then it hit me like a bitch slap to the face!
IT WAS HER!!
When I realized, I felt something I had never felt before; some inexplicable energy shot through my spine like a bullet.
What was that feeling?! I had to explore it!
We met the next day for a simple Froyo date, she loved Oreos on top. We had so much in common: our religion, interests, and most importantly we had an indescribable and unexplainable sexual vibe; attraction was there. She was that old homegrown country girl who rode horses and liked line dancing (came from a simple life) and I was that guy who was raised with housekeepers and maids (grandma with the British accent and all) but none of that mattered in that moment; we just sat on that metal bench outside a 16 handles and talked. Our first kiss that night was back at my place and it felt...Electric. She spent the night at my place but we didn’t have sex, and I was fine with that. This girl had class.
Fast Forward 8 months, I found myself a college graduate, in a relationship with the most amazing girl I have ever met, and awaiting my dream career in the military.
Yet something was wrong.
Now let me say, this girl was truly amazing. Ariel was the epitome of what you would classify a “keeper” and she had won me over. The guy who swore he would never fall in love, the icy pimp motherfucker… was head over heels for this girl; though I would never admit it.
Here’s the problem! we were long out of our honeymoon phase and even though I had felt this way about her, I never knew I had to show it or tell her (remember my longest relationship before was 1 LOUSY month). This was completely new to me. I was like a baby learning to walk but trying to run; thrown in the deep end without floaties while dad drinks a beer. At this point in our relationship, I hadn’t told her that I loved her, told her how much she meant to me but we were exclusive to each other. She knew I was her man and she was my lady.
I still tried to be that cool guy I was before but I had changed…and there was no going back.
Now before you go writing me off, I am not the social media type people, I barely use Facebook at that, so we never became FB official because it was never important to me. My downfall was I never asked what she wanted. I know! I was a naïve idiot. I never said “I love you” because I was scared, I had never been in love before. What was love? Was I in it? How the hell do you know?? Where would this go?? What if it worked out? Would we get married? We were too young to get married…Right!? At this point, we spent almost every day together, my friends and family loved her and thought we were great together, and the sex changed from just a familiar, pleasurable experience to something indescribable. Boy was the sex amazing!
Needless to say, she broke up with me and we went through the whole text book breakup with her torn with emotion and me asking her to take me back. We decided to take a “break” but we both knew what it meant. That look that she gave me as she was leaving my bedroom that one spring morning told me all I needed to know. It was over. It was a look of absolute disappointment and hurt and it is forever tattooed in my mind. Why didn’t I chase her down and tell her I loved her and it would be alright?
My heart was finally broken. I was broken as can be. Listening to The Script and John Mayer broken.
Three weeks later I get a text from Ariel. We meet for Fourth of July and have the most romantic night on the beach. It was the most beautiful night, fireworks lit the night sky as we sat and grew closer in the most emotional way imaginable. Man I still remember that red dress, those ruby red lips and white converse that she loved wearing. We met a couple times after and things were going great, until the night I saw her out at a nightclub with a guy who she claimed was a friend from work. I tried to play it as cool as possible but considering I had just taken 10 shots of fireball, it wasn’t so simple or clear. But what was she doing there? She never went out to places like that. After that night, we grew apart again and she started dating said “friend from work”. Admittedly, in a way I feel like I served the love of my life to said friend on a silver platter.
So here I am today, 3 months later, I leave in 30 days to start my dream career as a fighter pilot. Yet I feel like there’s something missing, like there’s something still left for me to do. I’ve made every move in the book to try to show this girl how much I care. I’ve written letters, gave her space, played it cool and I’m not exactly sure where it has gotten me. Here is the guy that a couple months ago didn’t care if he got that text, is here unable to let go. How do you let go of someone you’ve thought about every day from your first date to present? I have been out on dates since the breakup with some very attractive women who were great in their own right, but it’s not the same anymore. The hardest part is being so close and having so much to say but knowing it won’t change anything or even push her further away when all you want is to hold her in your arms, look her in those dreamy eyes, say “I love you” as we kiss the night goodbye.
But I am out of time.
Ariel, If you ever get a chance to read this, I hope you understand why I acted the way I did. It was my first real relationship and I was scared of where it would go. You were the one I was always searching for. I love you like I have never loved anything before and I wouldn’t change anything that we did together even if I wanted to (though I would have opened my heart more). Every second we spent cuddled on my bed watching Footloose and Grease, you sleeping in my arms and even playing Rummikub, I wouldn’t trade for anything, even going Mach 2 with my tail on fire (Top Gun Reference). Know that if the day comes that you give your heart to me again, there won’t be a day that goes by that you feel unappreciated or unloved. I’ll make you the happiest girl in the world. It was never my intention to hurt you; but I did, and I can’t apologize enough. I’ll spend a lifetime trying to make this right; but if you read this and you decide that we will never be together again, I understand. Just know that you have impacted my life and there will always be a piece of my heart still in love with you and I miss you babe. Read this whenever you’re feeling down or lonely and know that there is always someone thinking about you. I hope it makes you smile that smile that I’ll never forget.
Nothing has challenged me and changed my way of thinking as much as that little blonde, small town country girl and I love her for it. What’s heartbreaking is that sometimes you meet the perfect person at the wrong time, and when the time is right, it may be too late. I hope it’s not too late.
I guess the message here is; If you’re reading this and you have a loved one in your life that you know deep down is special; never let that person slip away, treat them the way they should be treated because that doesn’t come around very often. Too many times we take our partners for granted so: Say how you feel! Cause once they’ve decide to leave, no matter how much you yell, “I love you”, they won’t hear you. If they’ve already left, never stop fighting for them or let your love go even if that means walking away for now. I really hope that people will share this enough so that we can learn to appreciate what we have and maybe Ariel will see this someday and we can start over. A great quote I read on one of the now incessant Facebook memes said, “Love them like they’re leaving and they’ll never leave”...Ain’t that the damn truth!?