The digital era has really changed the dynamics of dating. Online dating is here to stay and you have to embrace it.  While the old stigmas associated with online dating are fading, this “new normal” can be an anxiety ridden endeavor. Below are some of the universal tips I give clients:

  1. Profile Pictures
  • Avoid neutral colors; wear colors that pop!
    • Research indicated that online daters who wore bright colors in their profile photos received more messages.
  • Use full body photos
  • Don’t use deceptive photos. Realistic photos and recent photos are a must.
  • Highlight personality strengths and lifestyle through photos, i.e., show your beautiful smile, your pets in your photos, or your hobbies that connect you with others.


  1. Profile Content
  • Avoid listing specific music bands, novels/literature, and movies that are your favorites. This way you avoid getting judged before that potential person even has the chance to meet you.
    • Research has indicated that optimal profiles are short and sweet, showcase users’ personalities without being too wordy or content heavy.
  • Avoid having your profile look like your resume. Showcasing awards and career highlights can come off as arrogance
  1. Messaging
  • Be a bit mysterious. Don’t overshare via messaging.
  • Be straightforward. Say what you want to say without overthinking or being overly wordy. Don’t be afraid to hit that send button.
  • But don’t be an ass. Over-confidence is not sexy, but emotional intelligence is very sexy.
  • Don’t message forever. If you’re connecting via text/messaging, go out and meet in person to see if you have a physical connection.
  • Make sure you’re both in it for the same reasons. If you’re sending long messages and the other person keeps it very short, that person may not like long messages OR they may not be trying to “get to know” someone. Figure out what they want quickly by asking questions. If you don’t like the answers you’re getting, move on.
  • Use emojis! Research shows that emoji users get more first dates
  • Be specific. Women like messages that have concrete dates and times to hang out, direct and straight to the point. Women get really turned off by uncertainty. But, keep in mind ladies you have to reciprocate that specificity in your messaging too.