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10 Signs of a Happy Couple

10 Signs of a Happy Couple


  None of us are born with an intuitive understanding of what it’s like to be in a relationship. We learn through our surroundings and experiences what we want a happy relationship to look like. I’d like to share my personal list of what a happy relationship looks like.


  • Happy couples find coziness and security in each other as well as adventure

After the butterflies are over, they work on maintaining a little spontaneity in their relationship. Our human drive for security is strong, but so is our sense for adventure and edge. Happy couples try to keep things exciting by experiencing new things together. Perhaps it’s taking that trip to Southeast Asia, signing up for an improv class together, or as simple as trying new ethnic food.


  • Happy couples handle their conflict by taking ownership

Not every conflict needs to be solved or can be solved. Sometimes it’s just about accepting them. But the ones that can be solved they work on. Perhaps its managing his difficult family, or arguing about a friendship she has that crosses boundaries in your relationship. Happy couples make an effort to empathize with one another and compromise to solve conflicts by taking responsibility.


  • Happy couples are best friends with benefits

When couples become too comfortable and are nesting they sometimes neglect sexual intimacy. Happy couples manage being friends and lovers.


  • Happy couples include each other in most aspects of their lives

Whether that’s hanging out with each-others friends (making new friends together), sharing an interest or hobby together, or including the other person in something you used to do alone when you were single.


  • Happy couples also maintain independence

Maybe he has a boys’ annual fishing trip, maybe she has a girls’ weekly yoga class.  You can share and do most things together if you chose, but be sure to enjoy some time apart to yourselves. This also allows happy couples to miss each other.


  • Happy couples respect each-others differences

Happy couples respect and have open mind when it comes to their differences. Love doesn’t understand that his family background conflicts with your parents’ religious beliefs. Having different taste in music or movies shouldn’t matter either! Happy couples balance their different tastes, for example, he teaches her a new genre of music and he learns to enjoy watching romantic comedies with her. The big stuff like different ideals when it comes to money, religion, politics, those are the things that happy couples communicate early on in the relationship and come up with compromises together. Keep in mind that attraction is not something that can be predicted. Happy couples are open to their differences and embrace them.


  • Happy couples treat each other like they want to be treated

The golden rule of treat others the way you want to be treated is great, but the platinum rule is treat them how they want to be treated. This includes loving him or her how they want to be loved. Happy couples know each other’s “love language”—quality time, verbal affirmations, acts of service, and physical touch.


  • Happy couples share their story with excitement

Every couple has a story. But happy couples share the story about they met with excitement. Research suggests that it’s not about how you met that makes a good story but how you share that story through your facial expressions and enthusiasm.


  • Happy couples understand no relationship is perfect

Happy couples learn that no relationship is perfect and that you can’t live up to the ideals of Hollywood or other aspirational benchmarks. Happy couples understand their partner isn’t solely responsible for making their life amazing.


  • Happy couples make each other better

Happy couples strive to support each other’s dreams and passions. They encourage each other to be the best version of themselves and are there for each other as an emotional rock when failure happens.


It takes work to be in a committed, loving and healthy relationship. Happy couples recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and do not stop working on their relationship. It’s what we all want and should strive for.



“I Love You”: Waiting to Hear Your Boyfriend Say Those Three Little Words?

“I Love You”: Waiting to Hear Your Boyfriend Say Those Three Little Words?


  Who says I Love You first in a relationship: men or women?

According to a study Communicating Commitment in Romantic Relationship men say it first about 70% of the time.  The fact that men are saying it first to their partners significantly more than women makes me wonder if gender roles play a part in it. How many women also don’t want to make the first move and ask a guy out?

The study explained how evolutionarily speaking women have more burden for childbearing and can afford to be choosier with whom they have sex as well as whom they love.  This suggests that in our ancestral environment women waited to declare their love. Perhaps it’s wired in the female brain. So let’s go back to the idea behind a woman professing her love first.

Since men are saying it first the majority of the time in the relationship, does it follow that women are thinking it and feeling it as well but waiting for the guy to profess?  On average it appears that men and women in romantic (sexual) relationships are at the “I love you” stage a few months to half a year into the relationship.  If it’s taking nine months to a year, it may not mean he doesn’t love you, he could just be less emotionally expressive than yo

In recent conversations with women in this position, I would like to share what I emphasized to them.  Keep in mind the following 3 points if you’re at the stage in a romantic relationship with a guy: —dating him for a few months, —falling in love and wondering why he hasn’t professed his love to you.

  • Ask yourself if this relationship is moving at a pace you are comfortable with.  If it’s not and it’s really bothering you that he hasn’t said “I love you,” then it’s worth discussing with him.  Have a conversation about what the possible expectations are behind those 3 words. Perhaps he thinks that once he says “I love you” the expectations are that he has to move in with you, or it’s time to start the wedding planning.  It’s important to ensure that you both understand each other’s perspective.
  • If you avoid having the conversation with him about how you feel, unnecessary tension is likely to build in the relationship. It will come out in other ways through petty conflict and arguments because you need to know what he’s thinking.  And if he loves you why hasn’t he expressed it verbally.
  • After you have the conversation, maybe you’ll sense by his positive reaction and openness to express the strong connection you two have—as a sign that he genuinely loves you. Be willing to give him the time he needs to be ready to say it.  That’s the good scenario.  On the other hand, if after having the conversation you are not sure if he loves you by how he reacted, or if he backs away, give him time to feel and digest his emotions.  It can be confusing. After all, he may want to be the one to say it first.

If after a reasonable amount of time you feel you are not getting closer or taking your relationship to the next stage emotionally, since he still hasn’t said those three little words, then try having the conversation again about your feelings.  Hopefully this time he’s ready to profess his love.  If not, you deserve a man who’s more emotionally available for you.  After all, women can afford to be choosier on who they choose to love. ~